Hallelujah
by starsinjars
Summary: It was more than a word of worship. It was more like an understanding of each other and how they needed each other to survive.


Title: Hallelujah

Summary: It was more than a word of worship. It was more like an understanding of each other and how they needed each other to survive.

A/N: First ever completed spn fic yay! And apparently this site hates underlining huh.

In relation to the song:  
_Castiel  
_**Dean  
****_Both_**

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_I've heard there was a secret chord  
__That David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
It goes like this  
The fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall, the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

Dean Winchester - the one with the soul pure enough to be the Righteous Man - was not a man of faith. He has seen many things that most humans will never see in their lifetimes, and have been dancing with Death for so long that it was odd that Death had not exchanged partners for another after dancing with his brother as well.

Then again, this was a man who was born with a great destiny. The destiny that will revolutionize the Earth and will finally be able to give the angels peace and the freedom to be released from duty.

He never prayed to God, never attended Church, and feasted on carnal pleasures as often as he can. But his core, where it really mattered, was always about doing the right thing, even throwing caution to the wind concerning his own welfare in order to help others.

Castiel was assigned a simple mission – free the Righteous Man from the fires of Hell and bring him back to his pitiful life all for the greatest good after he had fallen into temptation.

Little did Castiel know that this mission wasn't so simple after all.

_Your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you  
She tied you to a kitchen chair  
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

His brother was happy to see them; Castiel was surprised. He would have thought that Sam would have been wary of angels after being in cahoots with demons all his life. His life, knowingly or not, has been shaped by demons, ever since his mother made that deal to save John Winchester's life. The life she didn't want to be with but was destined to.

Dean has been watched by angels his whole life, but they never directly interacted with him. They weren't allowed to, save for Michael, but Castiel wasn't sure if the archangel ever communicated with his vessel.

While his brother was protected by demons to a degree, the same couldn't be said for Dean and the angels. He wasn't quick to understand, baffled at first. In his thirty years of life on earth, only now are angels appearing to him after he had died and suffered through Hell? He was one who needed to see to believe, knowing the monsters existed out there in the darkness like demons and ghosts and other such creatures that other people are told their whole life do not exist.

Lilith wanted Sam's brother in Hell. She refused to give up the contract that held Dean's soul as collateral and payment. She knew all along what the main objective was, and followed them all like an actress on stage. Everyone had a specific part, all had their own roles to play.

Castiel wasn't so sure what his role was specifically. He knew that he had a minor role compared to the Winchesters although he usually was the angel to interact with them since he was the one who raised Dean from prediction.

Sam staring as Lucifer; Dean staring as Michael. Dean - he one who would seemingly start it all. The Righteous Man, Dean Winchester, had to fall in order to saved. The Righteous Man with the soul so warm and bright that it was he who had more hope and faith than any of the angels ever had.

Castiel had touched that light once, and every day he thinks about it. Thinks about how warm and gentle it was, how strong yet fragile at the same time.

How he wishes he could have that feeling with all the time.

-Hallelujah, Hallelujah-  
-Hallelujah, Hallelujah-

**Baby I have been here before**  
**I know this room, I've walked this floor**  
**I used to live alone before I knew you.**  
**I've seen your flag on the marble arch**  
**Love is not a victory march**  
**It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah**

Castiel, angel of the Lord, was an odd one. He appeared to Dean, but never seemed to like Sam. Sam was the one who was into the angels; Dean couldn't care less.

Castiel was a stiff. He may have been the one to raise Dean from Hell, but that doesn't mean he owes him a life debt or anything like that.

Although he would never ever would like to go back to Hell.

These were the angels that people revered? These heartless bastards would disregard human life so easily. Did they even care?

But… Cas was different. Castiel was changing. Dean could see it in him. His questions were getting to him - Cas was actually listening to him and putting his own ideas into consideration.

After all, Dean knew what it was like to be a mindless soldier and how it could tear your family and yourself apart.

**There was a time when you let me know**  
**What's really going on below**  
**But now you never show it to me, do you?**  
**And remember when I moved in you**  
**The holy dove was moving too**  
**And every breath we drew was Hallelujah **

Cas was on their side, and had thrown away everything that Heaven gave him in order to be with Dean. Dean, the one he had saved, the one who was helped him to see how wrong it was for the angels to act the way that they do.

Since the angels were going mad with their daddy issues, Cas tried to do what he thought was best.

He was going to find his Father, God.

When Cas told him that Dean would be the only one who could help him, he couldn't help but notice that he approached him during a time that Sam wasn't with him.

And although Cas was terrible at lying – which made sense because you're not supposed to lie and he's an angel, he supposed – Dean had to admit that he was having fun helping his ally the angel find God.

When Cas told Dean that the night before talking to Raphael may be his last night on Earth, of his existence, Dean couldn't help but want to give Cas a bit of earthly fun.

He was surprised when he found himself a little relieved that Cas wasn't able to sleep with "Chastity", but knew he had to do something because he promised Cas he wasn't going to die a virgin. He was going to be human, at least for a little while.

And so when he found himself rubbing Cas' shoulders like what women sometimes do for him when they arrived at the house where they were staking out, he couldn't help but be turned on just a bit when Cas started to moan.

Knowing that he wouldn't be pushed away when Cas leaned back into him, into his touch, Dean started to kiss his neck, suck on it hard to create hickeys that showed Cas that he was alive _now _and that was what really mattered. He whispered in his ear that he would keep his promise, that he wouldn't let him die without having sex at least once, and that he wouldn't mind playing the girl for him tonight since they weren't going back to that strip club they just fled.

Breaking their kisses only for air and tasting each other's skin. Trying so hard to be gentle and yet wanting to be quick, they didn't realize that they were making love instead of just having sex.

-Hallelujah, Hallelujah-  
-Hallelujah, Hallelujah-

**_Maybe there's a God above  
But all I've ever learned from love  
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you  
It's not a cry you can hear at night  
It's not somebody who has seen the light_**

At this point, Cas was willing to do anything for Dean, and Dean was willing to do anything for Cas. Sam and Bobby thought their relationship was unhealthy, but there wasn't much they could do without Dean storming off and Cas running right after him.

And so Cas was so heartbroken when he realized that the bright light he was able to touch every day now, the light he was addicted to and couldn't go a single day without, was starting to fade.

Dean wanted to give himself to the angels.

**It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah**

Dean had given up.

-Hallelujah, Hallelujah-  
-Hallelujah, Hallelujah-

**You say I took the name in vain**  
**I don't even know the name**  
**But if I did, well, really, what's it to you?**  
**There's a blaze of light in every word'**  
**It doesn't matter which you heard**  
**The holy or the broken Hallelujah**

After everything that Castiel had done, Dean just couldn't take it anymore. Nothing seemed worth it anymore, and he was positive that they were out of options. The idea of saving the Earth from becoming a bloody playground for a grudge match was only that, an idea.

Dean couldn't tell Castiel, knowing just how much he had sacrificed in order to be with Dean this long in the game. He had sworn himself to the servitude to the angels anyway, though that was a long time ago, and it was all for the greater good. In the end, although many may not survive, the human race will survive and flourish in the Paradise the Apocalypse will create. And he will survive. The same can't be said for Sam, but Bobby, Cas, and him himself will.

That's what Michael promised him.

-Hallelujah, Hallelujah-  
-Hallelujah, Hallelujah-

_I did my best, it wasn't much  
__I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch  
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you_

Cas tried his best to save him, but in the end Dean was ultimately Michael's. The bright light was engulfed with another, and lost in the light that was an angel's grace.

It may have been those same beautiful green eyes that Cas had looked into every night, but Dean was gone.

**And even though it all went wrong**  
**I'll stand before the Lord of Song**  
**With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah**

Michael didn't lie.

Sam didn't survive, but Bobby and Cas did. The angels have ultimately won the war against the demons and human will be forever happy in the Paradise Dean had sacrificed so much for to give them.

Being with Michael wasn't so bad. Most of the time passed by without Dean knowing it, engulfed in the grace of Michael that he didn't have to think or dream or anything that gave him a sense of being.

It was as if he was finally free.

What he did see on occasion, were those sad blue eyes that were full of anguish.

Although he was sad to see Michael go, he was happy when he was able to control his body again. Michael came through when he said that Dean wouldn't be a mindless veggie in a wheelchair like Raphael's vessel was. He realized that he wouldn't ever be able to speak again.

He had to relearn how to walk, how to trust anyone after being held by only Michael for so long, but that man with the hauntingly familiar blue eyes was willing to do anything he possibly could for Dean.

And his first and only words Dean ever heard him say was when he was in the man's arms for a hug, a hug that Dean was stiff into, was, "Hallelujah."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

A/N: It wasn't supposed to be this way but then again I have no idea where it was heading when I was first writing it. Thanks for reading!


End file.
